Why Dave Kilcullen makes me want to bite my fist!!!!

Why is Dave Kilcullen so totally, spankingly HOT? Is it because he's an Australian Army officer with a PhD in anthropology and operational experience in multiple theaters? Is it because he gives full body contact hugs? Is it because he was instrumental in Petraeus' surge strategy in Iraq? Is it because he's staggeringly, humiliatingly brilliant? NO. The real reason Dave Kilcullen is totally bewilderingly, cave-smokingly hot is that his surplus masculinity allows him to wear pink ties and seersucker suits with no sense of foppish shame!!!! Dave is the only person in Washington who can make an Italian table cloth shirt look like a fashion three-hour tour, as opposed to a fashion shipwreck.... Lady Killer!!!! Now, when the Diva first met Dave, she wondered naturally, whether he wore his holster on the left or the right... but it quickly became apparent that Dave has so much hoo-0-ah juice that females naturally bend over and expose their back-seamed fishnet stockings for his delectation and approval. And while many external observers assume that Dave is motivated by some grand, patriotic vision of the democratic future of Western civilization, the Diva knows the truth: as Dave has so cogently reminded us "this little global war to defend civilization against atavistic takfiro-fascism that we're having here is all about women's fashion, and personally, I am willing to die in a ditch to preserve it. The Taliban were a fashion apocalypse (burqa and clogs, anyone?) and the less said about UBL's taste in footwear, the better...." The MORE said about Dave's fabulous taste in women, however, the better!!! Just check out the picture -- MEOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!

Why is Admiral Eric Olson so freakin’ HOT?

Why is Admiral Eric Olson so freakin’ HOT? Is it because he was an underwater demolitions expert in the Navy Seals? NO!!! Is it because he’s the most likely pick for SOCOM combatant commander? NO!!! It’s because his middle name is THOR! That’s right ladies: unlike the dull God of Judeo-Christianity, the old Norse Gods loved mead, virgins, epic poetry and kinetic force! Admiral Olson’s namesake, Thor, was the Norse God of thunder and lightening – he was known for his big red beard and big ol’ warhammer, with which he would crush the skulls of his enemies, including various ill-tempered giants and mythological snakes. (And you know how I feel about WARHAMMERS!!!) But see the thing is, Thor was a sensitive warfighter and respected human rights: unlike Odin, Thor didn’t require human sacrifices, only a little beer now and then! BOTTOMS UP! He was also an animal lover and rode around in the sky in a chariot pulled by goats named Tanngrisnir (gap-tooth) and Tanngnjóstr (tooth-grinder). (Are goats sexy? I guess some people think so….) Now, we can’t say anything about Thor the Admiral’s performance in the fur-covered, flea-infested sack, but Thor the Norse God had a healthy libido: although he married the goddess of fertility, he also had a mistress called Jarnsaxa, the “iron cutlass.” Meeeeoooo! Who wouldn’t want a mistress named after a weapon? So, the point is: we’ve had the neo-cons, and now it’s time for the neo-pagans. Some neo-paganism would really liven up the scene at the Pentagon! Just think, we could roast some pigs in a fire pit at Ground Zero, drink psychotropic reindeer urine, raid the State Department in our long boats, and sacrifice some virgins in the E Ring…. And we need a foreign policy to go with our new neo-paganism. I think Conan really summed it up best. When asked the question: what is best in life? Conan replied: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.” Forget all this nonsense about nation-building – I want Thor the Admiral to crush MY enemies!!!

DOGS of War! Woof!

During her last trip to Iraq in February, the Pentagon Diva learned something amazing: it's not just just human females who LUV men in uniform - the dogs of Iraq also QUIVER with canine delight at the sight of a US soldier!!! While visiting a remote Joint Security Station, the Diva became acquainted with a number of scabby, mangy, scrofulous Iraq dogs, some with one eye, some with three legs, but all DESPERATE for some tummy-patting, ear-scratchin' attention.... And who can blame them? Aren't all of us just hoping that some HOT man in uniform will scratch our itchy nether-regions? GRRRRR! In fact, one dog loved American soldiers so much that everytime a convoy left the base, she ran after the patrol vehicles all they way to downtown K******YA. Twice she was shot by insurgents, and twice patched up by Army medics. Local soldiers called her "Purple Heart" -- what a brave, patriotic puppy! While enjoying the hospitality of the JSS in the Army's dirtiest, coldest tent, the Diva also made the acquaintance of her fabulous tent mate -- a female officer from the 85th Medical Detachment Combat Stress Control Unit, whose mission is to offer therapeutic assistance to soldiers in theater. Two black labs have recently joined the unit and have a very hectic schedule of face licking and tail wagging in order to make sure that soldiers know they have the love & admiration of the canine world. Woof!

MAN-HUGS FOR EVERYONE!!!!

The Pentagon Diva must apologize to her numerous, devoted fans for her lack of recent postings. She has, however, been in Iraq and Afghanistan for the past few months, admiring all those the handsome, brave boys (and girls) in uniform -- all that dust! all that kevlar! all that muscle! Meeeeoooow! Indeed, it was HOT, HOT, HOT -- in more ways than one...

Frankly, the excitement was almost too much. But lo! upon her return, she discovered that man-hugging is now socially permissible, according to Wired-guy Noah Shachtman. I know what you naughty readers are thinking -- but there is no love-fest going on at the Pentagon, no outbreak of unrestrained bodily contact in the US Armed Forces. On the contrary, in his little article, "In the Pentagon, Hugging Suddenly OK" (January 11, 2008), Noah informs us that this hugging has rules. Rules, dammit!

• "Rule #1: A hug is only appropriate between two men who have not seen each other in at least a year. It only occurs on the first meeting of those two after such a gap.
• Rule #2: During that period one or both of them have been to combat in Iraq or Afghanistan. Neither has died or was crippled beyond repair. Both now know too many who have been so.
• Rule #3: The hug occurs in conjunction with a forearm gripped handshake. It is brief. Right arm in shake, left arm over the other man's shoulder, two or three hearty slaps or punches to the back. No more. Release. The sentiment is as direct as the action, "I am glad you are not dead."

Now, Noah (our otherwise well-informed social observer) seems to think the man-hug is something new. But the Diva can assure readers that soldiers -- at least those in highly kinetic, testosterone-driven ho-ahh units -- hug each other all the time. Perhaps as a celebration of masculinity? As a means of expressing their mammalian instinct for the comfort of a warm fur-pile in a deep burrow? As a way of congratulating themselves for surviving yet another really dangerous HALO (high altitude, low-opening) jump? Who knows?!

Anyway, the most important rule is NO BELOW-THE-WAIST CONTACT. Okay, let's practice: stand 2 feet apart, grip hands in a manly fashion, lean forward from the waist, thump comrade on the back. Stop. A quick release is IMPERATIVE, otherwise you might be perceived as being gay or (heaven forbid!) sentimental.

The nice thing about being a girl, of course, is that you can hug anyone you want at pretty much anytime and everybody LOVES it!!! So, ladies, have you hugged a warfighter today?

Semper Fi!!!!

Ladies, do you ever wonder why Marines are so freakishly HOT? And why they don't take off their clothes more often in public? The UK Royal Marines take off their clothes ALL THE TIME, no kidding. In fact, when they visit bars while on deployment (frequently), someone will yell 'Naked!' (loudly) and they all strip (quickly) -- including their knickers!!!! The USMC is, well, a little bit more prudish -- in other words, I've never seen a whole platoon of them drinking naked in a bar, which is just very disappointing. However, the nice folks at 501(c)(c) Freedom in Not Free have brought us a lovely Xmas (or birthday or Easter) gift - AMERICA'S HEROES 2007 CALENDAR!!! Sadly, these boys are still wearing their knickers -- hopefully 2008's calendar will feature BUCK-NAKED Marines!!!

Why is Paul Van Riper so screamingly HOT????

Why is Lieutenant General Paul Van Riper (USMC, ret) so screamingly HOT???? Is it because he was wounded in action in Vietnam and has a ton of medals? NO!!! Is it because he walked out of the Millennium Challenge 2002 wargame because it was fixed so the blue force would always win? NO!!! Is it because he told SecDef Rumsfeld he should resign? NO!!! It’s because he looks like a ROMAN SENATOR!!! With that short white hair, those steely eyes, that amazingly square jaw – you can easily visualize him in a toga and sandals (I myself have visualized him in such costumes many, many times!). I mean, the man has some SERIOUS dignity, which can only be increased by a laurel wreath around the head. Really, there are not too many men you could say that about…. Okay, so maybe the whole Roman thing has become a huge Hollywood trope: In the past few years, there has been no shortage of hot guys in togas Hollywood style – adorable red-haired Kevin McKidd in Rome The Miniseries (really, he was even better in Dog Soldiers in which an SAS unit encounters a bunch of werewolves), hetero-macho Russell Crowe in Gladiator (really, he was even better as a skinhead in Romper Stomper – those BOOTS!). But when USMC generals look like Roman senators, it gives a whole new emphasis to the current ‘barbarians at the gate’ zeitgeist happening inside the Beltway…And no, I don’t mean the Democrats (I AM a democrat, for fuck's sake)…I mean the fact that there IS a war going on, even though nobody in the federal government or in the glorious, overweight, self-complacent American populace seems to recognize this fact….They say that Rome is burning. Hell, let it burn – I don’t care as long as LtGen Van Riper is around to put out my fire!

Israel recalls 'naked ambassador'

Israel has recalled its ambassador to El Salvador after he was found drunk and naked apart from bondage gear. Reports say he was able to identify himself to police only after a rubber ball had been removed from his mouth. A foreign ministry official described Ambassador Tzuriel Refael's behaviour as an unprecedented embarrassment. The incident, which happened two weeks ago, has renewed calls for a radical overhaul of the way Israel appoints and promotes its diplomats. San Salvador was Mr Refael's first post as ambassador. He was promoted in 2006 from a technical position in the ministry which had involved several foreign postings.....WOW, SAN SALVADOR SOUNDS LIKE MORE FUN THAN DC!

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/middle_east/6441461.stm

Published: 2007/03/12 14:05:50 GMT