Friday, April 13, 2007

Why is Paul Van Riper so screamingly HOT????

Why is Lieutenant General Paul Van Riper (USMC, ret) so screamingly HOT???? Is it because he was wounded in action in Vietnam and has a ton of medals? NO!!! Is it because he walked out of the Millennium Challenge 2002 wargame because it was fixed so the blue force would always win? NO!!! Is it because he told SecDef Rumsfeld he should resign? NO!!! It’s because he looks like a ROMAN SENATOR!!! With that short white hair, those steely eyes, that amazingly square jaw – you can easily visualize him in a toga and sandals (I myself have visualized him in such costumes many, many times!). I mean, the man has some SERIOUS dignity, which can only be increased by a laurel wreath around the head. Really, there are not too many men you could say that about…. Okay, so maybe the whole Roman thing has become a huge Hollywood trope: In the past few years, there has been no shortage of hot guys in togas Hollywood style – adorable red-haired Kevin McKidd in Rome The Miniseries (really, he was even better in Dog Soldiers in which an SAS unit encounters a bunch of werewolves), hetero-macho Russell Crowe in Gladiator (really, he was even better as a skinhead in Romper Stomper – those BOOTS!). But when USMC generals look like Roman senators, it gives a whole new emphasis to the current ‘barbarians at the gate’ zeitgeist happening inside the Beltway…And no, I don’t mean the Democrats (I AM a democrat, for fuck's sake)…I mean the fact that there IS a war going on, even though nobody in the federal government or in the glorious, overweight, self-complacent American populace seems to recognize this fact….They say that Rome is burning. Hell, let it burn – I don’t care as long as LtGen Van Riper is around to put out my fire!